Boxing a Bike Is Far From Easy

Kate and I are departing for our big summer vacation tomorrow. While Kate graciously babysits and visits some relatives in Washington, I will be riding my bike down the Oregon coast with my 3 brothers, Christina's husband Eric, and our Dad. This promises to be quite the adventure.
We have been planning this for literally a year, though the genesis goes back a bit further.

My parents visited us in Colorado during the summer of '09, and I convinced my Dad to go on a short bike ride with me. He seemed to do alright despite the altitude, so we started casually talking about how it would be fun to do some type of bike trip as a family. The following summer we were in Wisconsin for a family reunion at Uncle Denny's cottage on Lake Chetek. One day we pulled out a map and started talking more seriously, aiming for Summer 2011 for the inaugural trip. A few emails were exchanged throughout the fall, but things really got going during my parents visit to meet Logan in January 2011. We got all the guys together thanks to Skype to start planning the details. Thereafter we held a telecon every month (plus a second one in July) to hammer out the details.

We settled on the Oregon Coast for our route, since its in Oregon its a relatively convenient location for half the riders, and its more or less in the middle for those of us that have to fly. The coast is known for its beauty and convenience and is a destination for cyclists all over the country. Its also supposed to have a prevailing tailwind if you ride from North to South, so I'll be sure to let you all know if that panned out. Mike designed a kickass jersey for our trip, and here's a pic of Dan modeling it for us:

Anyway, before I can start riding I need to get my bike to Oregon. Mike and Eric are the others that have to fly to get to Oregon, and Mike decided to rent a bike in Portland to avoid the hassle of shipping or checking his bike. Eric will be borrowing a bike in Oregon, so I'm the lone sucker trying to fit his bike into a cardboard box. The following details my struggles to achieve this feat.
I scrounged a used box from a local bike shop, and I got some copper pipe insulators and zip ties from Home Depot. Here is my bike before I started; hopefully it will look similar when I get back from Oregon:

The first step is to remove the pedals and cover all the frame tubes with foam. Easy to do with zip ties and scissors. I got two different diameters of foam for the various thicknesses of tubes. I should have gotten two of the skinnier tubes, as I was about 18 inches short, but I made do with what I had.

Next step is to remove the handlebars and front wheel, and rotate the fork so its facing backwards. Lots of folks recommend remvoing the front brake calipers to do this, but it seemed unncessary in my case. At some point you need to remove the seat and seat post too:

Next I strapped a small cardboard box around my chain ring to protect it a bit more:

Then I made a pair of dropout spacers form some scrap wood and some screws. This prevents the fork and the chain stays from getting bent during transport. It seems pretty unlikely that would happen, but I had the time and materials at hand so figured what the heck:

Once the rear wheel is removed the rear derailer is just sticking out, so I decided something needed to be done. I wasn't totally sure what to do, so I just unbolted it and zip-tied it to the chain stay. Seemed to work fine. Hopefully I can get it back together without much trouble. You can also see the rear dropout spacer in this view:

Now comes the hard part, and I wish I had some pics, but I just wasn't in the mood at that time. The really trick is fitting all that stuff into the box. I've seen photos online of people boxing their bike with the rear wheel still mounted to the frame, but my box was a good 10 " to small for that. Removing the rear wheel is no problem, except that now you have to fit it into the box along side the frame. The box is 8" wide, and that is no easy trick. I had to put the bike in and take it back out about 8 times before I figured out how to do it. The trick is to remove the quick release axles from both wheels, then intertwine the rear casette with the front wheel's spokes and the left crank arm, such that its all a tangled mess that is surely not good for the long-term future of your machine. Once you have a twinsted lump of aluminum, place your foot on the top tube, grasp the sides of the box firmly, and shove that bastard into the box, trying to prevent all the exposed bits of sharp metal from tearing the box to shreds. When finished it should look something like a transformer smashed by a junkyard car crusher:

After that I just wrapped up clothes and such in plastic bags and tried to shove them into all of the empty crevices around the bike. A little bit of duct tape to seal her up and I'm good to go. I can't wait to see what happens at the airport; I can't see checkin going smoothly!